So October has rolled around and here I am still waiting to get the BRCA Test done.

When we last discussed this topic way back when, I was rolling forward full steam ahead, fearless and unshakable…. well lets just say I’m a little less fearless now. You see my mother (is having her yearly ultrasound and mammogram as part of her post  breast cancer treatment) her yearly checkup has come and gone in the past five years with anxiety and then relief.  We never discuss it my mother just quietly goes off  and get’s “the all clear”,  this time however I will be preparing to take the BRCA test which means my mum has to take the test as well.

For some unknown reason my mother and I were never tested when my mother was initially diagnosed with breast cancer. I can only issue that in the chaos and the craziness of that time, the doctors perhaps overlooked the need for us to be tested.

As I write this blog I know very little about the test, it is taking months just to get the paperwork in order for me to begin the counselling that is required to have the test. Yes you read that correctly I will be required to speak with a counsellor prior to taking the test.  I’m not sure what if this is a legal requirement or just something my doctor is recommended. But this is the process I going through.

Now my unshakeable resolve has been shaken, its now becoming very real what I am undertaking and what it means. It’s not the sort of thing you stop and think about… is my DNA  broken, am I  somehow genetically predisposed to this disease but, as I prepare for the first round of counselling I guess this is exactly what I’m going to have to  consider.  I have always held the belief that good health and my over all healthy life style, i.e.  eating clean, exercising and see a whole host of health care practitioners  would hold me in good stead for whatever life brings. Now a very small part of me is questioning whether there is any validity to any of  that if I am somehow genetical broken, right now the confusion is overwhelming.

My GP has been wonderful, he has very clearly stated all the medical facts, we have discussed at lengths  the possible outcomes of BRCA test. He has made it very clear that no matter what the results of the test show,  one test cannot predict the medical future of any individual. Furthermore the personal choice and individual health of each patient play a huge role  in developing any illness. So for now I have great faith  in my healthy lifestyle and my obsession with trying different wellness and healing modalities. Right now I will cling to what ever hope I have of being able to create a healthy and vibrant future for myself.

As I step on the merry-go-round  of doctors and specialists again, I must remember that this test or the outcomes of it will not predict my future health and well-being. That this test is merely a guide as to how my genetic make up is made up. As I navigate my way through this process I am taking very conscious steps to detach any  unnecessary anxiety to it.

I guess it’s these moments in life that teach us the greatest lessons, watch this space for more life learning.

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