Isn’t it funny how things click into place always just when they should?
Although we may be, at the time none the wiser, hindsight always provides us with the realisation. There’s been a theme running through me over the past few years. In setting up deliberate structure through my businesses and my clinic, for both patients and staff, I was guided to hone in on my highest values. In doing so, it became apparent to me, that love was on the very top of my list. Of course we all have different values, different priorities and various feelings and emotions that propel us. Funnier though for me was, I never felt like I was a ‘lovey dovey’ type of gal – much like I never thought that what I did was very ‘feminine’ – but as you see (and you may be laughing because could it be any closer to what I do), both these things are central to who I am and what I do. How we perceive things is up to us. Love isn’t necessarily all about being choochy coo with your lover, it’s about self worth and showing up each day. It’s about loving what you do for work and being proud. Love really extends to every corner of our lives.
But with love as my driving force, recognising and most importantly naming this as what drives me most, it’s now come at me like a road train – and continues to come at me thicker and faster than ever before. So what I’m about to reveal to you, came as no surprise to me, but more so one of those ‘meant to be’ discoveries like so many before it.
Without love, you can never fully heal.
The more I’ve continued to massage this thought I’ve found a strong need to weave it through everything I do. Chinese Medicine completely encapsulates the idea that health is absolutely 50% physical and 50% emotional, that each organ is attached to a specific emotion and all organs interact to ensure the body is not only integrated but all systems are working in unison. The emotion of the heart is joy (which I see extends to love) which got me thinking more. I discovered that when women completely encapsulate this idea, working on and mending the physical (heart) will never complete the job and most of all, your body will tell you over and over and show up as a host of symptoms. You may not have made this connection (because that’s my job as a practitioner at the end of the day, not necessarily yours) to just how many women have lost their joy because of long term illness like hormone imbalance or conditions like PCOS? The love from their life is gone. Stress, angst and fear crushes love and joy.
Dr Habib Sadeghi elaborates extensively on the need to always address the emotions. I love his work. He suggests that millions of people are living in a perpetual state of unconfined emotion and that healing all chronic illness, especially women’s reproductive conditions is the secret. Sadly, too often emotions are overlooked especially when we come at things from a scientific approach – because how do we test the emotional ability of the body? And what’s the solution? We know antidepressants interfere with hormone health and certainly affect reproductive ability and sadly offer a short term solution because the crux of the issue isn’t being delt with. Dr Sadeghi talks about how, from an early age girls are taught to somewhat deny their feelings in order to please others and then of course the media influences the mindset and subtly but continuously convinces us to hate our bodies for a host of reasons – not thin enough, not good enough, not toned enough, not hormonally playing the game and so on. We aren’t taught how to be, imperfect and love ourselves for that. The expectations placed on women, not necessarily by others but by our biggest critic, ourselves, is spiraling out of control. Our heads are for at least some part, a mess on the inside as we continue to show up with the ‘shop front’ like we’ve got it all going on, that emotions don’t change day by day and that we can control everything. We’re living a lie. Allowing emotions to be felt and dealt with fully is the only way we can not be affected long term by them. Our bodies are so clever – they don’t forget something that isn’t dealt with, but more so tuck emotions away where they will absolutely manifest and grow like a big black growth, and take up so much room within, it leaves little for other bodily functions to do anything more than a mediocre job.
As women, we need to come back to love. Unrealistic pressure, not allowing ourselves enough downtime, moving away from this distorted notion that we need to ‘do it all and then some’ and coming back to what is physically possible is a must. We are not perfect, we can’t actually ever be ‘perfect’. We’re never going to be, and to think otherwise is the real problem. Loving yourself enough to realise that perfect is imperfection and that you can forgive yourself for falling short, that being wife of the year, the perfect cleaner, friend, gardener, ideal weight, lover – is all because you aren’t perfect but because you show up and be you. Accept your body for what it is, the beautiful being that you are and allow this wash of love to permeate everything you do. Fearing imperfection winds us in the wrong direction. Self acceptance is they key step towards healing, hormones or otherwise.