Let’s admit! We women are running in the speed of light every day – juggling between personal, work and social life.


It is also given that most of us are overworked, overwhelmed and burnt-out.

Until 5 years ago, my definition of modern woman was almost something close to wonder woman who can be working in a stressful environment whole day, attending to the needs of family and friends and towards the end of the evening turn in to a sensual seductress! Indeed, a woman who can be and do it all! But can we really?

I was chasing this illusive vision of being a modern woman who wants to be successful, healthy, beautiful, homely, lover and most importantly a perfectionist. To a great extent, I was able to achieve all of the above but I was going to bed feeling knackered, resentful and deprived. Soon my health started taking a downward spiral, my friends and relationships became boring and my job felt meaningless. I went through a moment of crisis where I began to question womanhood and true meaning of my life.

Long story short, I took a 3-year journey of self-inquiry exploring the true essence of life in a deep spiritual way with the help of several teachers.

My spiritual exploration made me realise why we women are so overworked, overwhelmed and burnt-out.

As woman, our primary essence is feminine and to be successfully running in the speed of light every day requires a primary masculine essence. To cope up with the busy lifestyle of the modern world, we women have done a very good job in turning the volume high for our masculine essence but at the cost of our primary feminine essence.

Expressing our feminine essence is something many of us women have either forgotten or simply do not know how to do.

So, you may think what does it mean to be feminine?

Being feminine means shifting our priorities to make the moments of our life nurturing and fulfilling to us. It means giving importance to creativity, emotional intimacy, play and valued based growth! A woman connected to her feminine essence chooses co-operation, kindness and compassion over competition, dominance and aggressiveness. She gives a high priority to rest, inner beauty and soothing environment.

Hence, we need to practise integrating self-care in our daily routine as a priority. Self-care is not just a luxury but a necessity for us busy women in order to create a fulfilling and sustainable lifestyle.

Unfortunately, many of us leave our self-care routine to a Sunday or a special occasion which needs to radically change.

Here are 2 types of self-care that we must learn to integrate in our busy lifestyle to avoid burn-out –

  1. Reactive Self-care – This means responding to your negative or uncomfortable feelings at a given time with a kind action. For example – a nap, 15 mins of quiet time, cup of healthy tea, short meditation, deep breathing, short walk, etc.
  2. Deliberate Self-care – This means investing in your self-care on a regular basis preferably weekly. For example – dance class, gym, women’s group, life coaching, any hobby, etc.

I know that you may be wondering but who has the time for self-care! Trust me, devoting small amounts of time every day on self-care can boost your energy, happiness, motivational and productivity levels.

In conclusion, I also want to reiterate that we will never have control over our long to-do lists. We know that not all things go as planned and sometimes the Universe has its own way of making things work in our lives. By practising daily self-care, you will experience what it is to slow down, surrender and trust the Universe. Many times, things will just fall in place and you will be amazed. This is beauty of living in our primary essence – the feminine.

Jonita Dsouza

Jonita D’souza is a Feminine Lifestylist, an Author and Creatress of Exploring Femininity Ltd., assisting modern day busy women who struggle with burn-out, overwhelm and body love to reconnect with their feminine and sensual energy so that they can create a lifestyle that is fulfilling, nurturing and pleasurable. Jonita is also a certified life coach, NLP practitioner, Master Hypnotherapist and combines the teachings of feminine mysticism and shamanism in her work. Jonita believes that it is the responsibility of the 21st century women to explore their femininity, so that they can create a sustainable life for themselves, for their loved ones and for generations to come.

Latest posts by Jonita Dsouza (see all)